I was helping a friend problem-solve an ostomy leak issue recently and it got me thinking about all of the crazy situations I have found myself in with a leaking ostomy. When I was new to having an ostomy, leaks were mortifying. And they still can be, given the right scenario. But some scenarios are so ridiculous that I can’t help but laugh. Years ago, my friend Abi and I went on a backpacking trip in Eagle River, AK that turned out to be one of those laughable situations. In fact, it was one of the best trips I’ve been on where I didn’t really accomplish anything. Except maybe helping to develop a thicker skin and a better sense of humor. 

Here’s the tale:

One August weekend, Abi and I decided that summiting Mt. Rumble would be a fun objective. We planned on a Friday evening start. The forecast showed that it was going to storm in the mountains that weekend. But we were optimistic that the storm would pass quickly and the weather would not be too bad for our weekend adventure. After parking at the Eagle River Nature Center, the clouds started to move in over us. It began to lightly sprinkle as we hiked up the road and made our way into Ram Valley. As we approached the valley, the sun came out again and we were hopeful that we had seen all the rain for the day. 

We crossed the valley in high spirits and started up the hill toward the rock glacier. At one point, I looked back to see Abi behind me with storm clouds moving in again in the distance beyond her. The rain clouds came faster and faster. We were already halfway up the hill on exposed terrain with ice axes pointing directly at the sky, so we decided to keep going to find some shelter from the storm on the other side. I took off at a quick pace, as Abi kept up her pace behind me. I have a tendency to want to flee from thunder and lightning. And Abi has a tendency to want to stand around and take it all in. We make for an interesting pair when storms are approaching. All of a sudden, the storm was upon us. Thunder was overhead and there was lightning at the edges of the valley. Rain began pelting down, and we quickly realized it was hailing and that we were still very exposed. 

I took off running for cover at this point. I found a boulder that blocked the rain as it had started moving in a southward direction. I stuck my hiking pole out to wave Abi down. Finally, she jumped in next to me and we huddled together, thinking we would outlast the storm behind the boulder. But the winds shifted and the hail and rain came harder and harder. Suddenly the boulder offered no protection. We pulled out our tent rain fly and began to build a shelter around ourselves and our packs.

Finally, in a somewhat dry shelter, we added layers, and again figured we could wait out the storm next to the boulder. We were able to relax a bit once we added layers and began to warm up. Abi laughed as she told me about her image of me running up the hill ahead of her, my ice axe sticking up into the air above me, as the lightning struck around us. She thought I was going to be struck as I forged ahead. We continued with the story telling and jokes, hopeful that the hail would stop and we could continue moving for the evening. We hoped to make it to Peter’s Creek and we were worried about the terrain and rocks going over Bombardment Pass with the fresh hail and rainfall. Time continued to pass as we huddled together, starting to shiver from the cold. 

The Dreaded Leak

All of a sudden, I felt a warm sensation on my abdomen. It is a familiar sensation to me. I knew that it meant one thing. My ostomy was leaking. And not only was it leaking, but it was leaking toward Abi who was huddled up on my right side. “Abi,” I said. “What?” she responded. “I’m sorry if I get poop on you,” I replied. “It’s okay. At least we’re warm” she said. “I’m sorry that it smells,” I said. “It’s okay.” she responded again. There was nothing I could do at that point. Pulling out a new ostomy bag and wafer was not an option. Based on the weather and our condition, I knew there was no way a new wafer would stick to my wet, cold skin. So I folded up my handkerchief and tucked it in my pants, hoping that it would keep my poop from leaking onto Abi’s side. 

We sat under the rain fly for a total of two hours before the storm began to let up. I nearly forgot about my poop leaking all over me as we prepared for the rest of our evening. After discussing the likely deteriorating conditions of Bombardment Pass and Mt. Rumble, we opted to head back down into Ram Valley. We figured with could set up our tent and re-evaluate in the morning. We were disappointed that we would not meet our objective. But were were excited to spend a night outside in the beautiful valley. 

We gathered up our belongings as the lightning stopped and the rain continued. We took off back down the hill, with the tent fly flapping around me in an attempt to dry it out. As we reached the lower part of the valley, the storm cleared and we found a place for our tent. We quickly set up, stripped off our sopping wet clothes, and began to make dinner. I made my way a few hundred yards away to change my ostomy and figure out what to do with my poop soaked clothes. After cleaning myself up, bagging up my clothes, and changing into my base layer, I felt human again. It turned into a beautiful evening and we were able to get some good sleep. 

At about 7am, I awoke to that familiar warm feeling again. I instinctively put my hand down on my abdomen, realizing that I was covered in my own poop. It had soaked through my base layer onto my soft shell jacket, down my back, and all over my sleeping bag. “Oh no,” I exclaimed as I scooted my way out of the tent, trying to keep all of my liquid poop contained in my sleeping bag, sparing the tent as I exited. I frantically escaped my sleeping bag and assessed the damage. I had successfully escaped the tent without soiling it. “Sorry about the smell,” I said to the half awake Abi. “It’s okay,” she replied. “Do you need any help?” she asked. “No” I responded. My typical response. 

I proceeded to devise my plan to clean myself up as fast a possible, so that I could get back into the warmth of the tent. I stripped down naked in the middle of Ram Valley on that freezing cold August morning. Now, at this point, most of my clothes were either soaking wet from the day before or covered in my own poop. My bra and socks were the only clean items on my body. My hard shell jacket was spared, as it had been drying by my feet all night. I found an extra pair of underwear and my light wind pants and put them on. I bagged up all my dirty clothes and left my sleeping bag and pad outside the tent.

After fully cleaning up, I climbed back into the tent and curled up on the ground with just my jacket, a small down blanket, and socks over my hands to keep me warm. We slept a couple more hours, until the warm sunlight began to fill the tent. With the sun pouring into the tent, I was able to warm up to a more comfortable temperature and start the morning routine of making breakfast and sorting wet and dirty gear from the day before. 

I was uncertain of what to do with my mess of gear.  Luckily, Abi and I brought along a few garbage bags to hold our full size pillows. Yes, I said full size pillows…that’s another story for another day.  I was able to use those bags contain my gear and somehow made it all fit back in my backpack. One of my main takeaways has been to always bring a variety of garbage bags on trips for potential ostomy messes. 

The Bright Side

After the morning ostomy leak, I knew there was no way we could continue on to Mt. Rumble. Conditions were not very favorable for the rest of the weekend given the fresh hail and possible snow up high. After changing our plan and bailing on the mission of summiting Mt. Rumble, we opted to  spend the day lounging in the sun in Ram Valley. It was a gorgeous day to just hang out and enjoy time outside. Finally, we decided that it was time to head out of the valley and back down to Eagle River. After the events of the day before and my morning issues, the hike out was fairly uneventful (other than one angry huffing bear in the woods). 

I often refer to that Ram Valley trip as a literal shit storm. But the reality is, it ended up being a pretty fun shit storm. Life is full of things that are much worse than a leaking ostomy, a beautifully stormy valley, and time spent outdoors with a wonderful friend.